Journal Entry: Sun Dec 23, 2012, 9:11 AM
Christmas is around the corner and I am wondering what it will bring this year. Is christmas a special time of the year for me? No I don't really think so.
There are so many different ways to see christmas time. Sometimes I love this time of the year and sometimes I hate it.
I hate it when I have to think of all the restrictions that society puts on us, all the flaws that this 'event' comes with in a modern day world.
The feeling of doing something bad when you don't have something of value that you bought for someone, the expectations and burden of a festival that has become so twisted by mass media that the really important things fade more and more in the background and only material gifts matter anymore.
People are happy if you show them that they appreciated, no matter if it is christmas or any other day of the year. If you only show that you like them on christmas you should ask yourself if you're not doing something wrong.
Christmas often helps finding a new start, when you lost the right path along the way somewhere, with all the work and jobs and meetings and thousands of other things to do. It's easier to reflect on such things during christmas, because it's so widely accepted to do exactly that. Take some time off and get together with your loved ones.
Just remember that the important part about it is you and the people you love, not some glittering bauble that you buy somewhere just because you're expected to. Make gifts because you want to, not because you're expected to. It will be way more appreciated by the people who love you if you just spend some time with them instead of gifting them with something you bought. If you have some nice ideas and want to buy something and think its a good idea, go for it. But there are many times when you just don't know what to buy, when you will make yourself unhappy because of it and feel bad, because you let mass media dictate what is good and what is bad. If you appreciate someone and have no idea what they would like for christmas, just tell them that you like them it will make them a lot more happy than something they can buy on their own that was bought just because it's common to buy something.
If you like someone, don't expect them to give you some material gift and appreciate that they simply are there for you and spend their time with you.
So I ask myself. What did I do this year? Did I appreciate the people I like? What can I improve? What would make the people around me happy? Not everything has to be bought. Maybe I should spend some more time with my family. Maybe I should think more about settling down a little bit. It would make my boyfriend happy. I tried to avoid that for a long time.
I have been happy with my relationship, but even though my friend knows that I am, I rarely show it. We have been living in seperate appartments so far, either he was staying at my place or I was staying at his place for most of the week. Christmas might be a good time for a change, moving in with him, but actually the real reason why I am considering it now is because our little two person family is going to become bigger in about 8 months. I decided to keep it and go on with my pregnancy and thinking of his smile, that seems to be stuck on his face lately, I guess that no gift I can make this christmas will be better than the one he already got.
There is no need for a tree, or presents or a good dinner at christmas eve, even though we will likely have all of that because our family will come, including my boyfriends little sister who loves christmas trees (that alone is reason enough to have one - it's awesome to see kids smile ^^ they do appreciate beauty on a completely different innocent level that an adult will never be able to)
We will always know that it's not the tree or the presents that make it an important time. It's not that the date or winter makes it an important time either. What does make it important is that we remember all the people around us we like and love and appreciate them. What is important is that we are together with them and that we share this time.
When you are with the people you love, remember that its they that are important no matter how many other things are missing from a typical christmas picture that everyone is expecting.
Listening to: Bach - Air on G String
Drinking: Pure Lemon Juice